This is what it looked like back in 2000.

Here’s the ad we put on Craigslist last week.

Project manager / Gift & Loyalty Trainer (Cleveland, OH - Midtown Area)

Date: 2009-07-21, 8:52PM EDT
Reply to: jobs@sparkbase.com

Stored value leader, SparkBase, is looking for smart, confident, pleasant person to fill a training position with our rapidly growing company. This person will become an expert in the Gift/Loyalty/Rewards industry so they can effectively train our growing client list. We have a wealth of knowledge in the industry, and can get the right person up to speed quickly.

Duties will include:
Following up with new customers
Writing weekly Blog entries for one of our websites
Scheduling, and leading training sessions with new customers
Coordinating meeting schedules between sales reps and executive staff
Helping customers structure programs that fit their business model

This is NOT a sales job. This is a full-time salaried position in our Cleveland office, with an outstanding salary/benefit package.
Applicants should email a resume with salary requirements to jobs@sparkbase.com Subject=JOB#07212009.
(Hint: We’re looking for a detailed person that can pay attention to instruction.)

NO PHONE CALLS ABOUT THIS POSITION. Read the instructions above.

I was pretty clear…right?

Step 1: Open email and type to: jobs@sparkbase.com
Step 2: Make the Subject line “JOB#07212009″
Step 3: Attach your resume.
Step 4: Make sure it has salary requirements.
Step 5: Press send.

This is the first thing I’m asking them to do as a potential employer. You’d THINK that the person would be able to read the above ad, and be able to follow simple instruction. Here are the results…

59 Responses to the ad.
36 had the right subject line.
24 included a resume
8 had salary requirements…4 of which were realistic.
(My favorite: $32,000 to $74,000…but negotiable.)

Are there so many jobs out there that people are able to be lazy? Am I asking too much?

Highs:
We had a baby.
We’re making a LOT of progress at work.
Shaker Heights finally remembered that we have trash cans that require emptying.
My son Garrett turned two yesterday.

Lows:
We’re not making ENOUGH progress at work to keep me asleep at night.
AM&E has a bunch of spine-less people working for them.

So the latest is a speeding ticket I got this morning while driving into the office. Evidently, there is a school next to us that doesn’t like it when you drive 33mph by it.

Bastards…

(…and it’s only Thursday.)

Oliver Joseph Hardman
08/25/2008 @ 8:18am - 7lb 3oz - 20″

He’s already fitting right in. Garrett thinks he’s pretty cool…All the grandparents can’t get enough of him…Angie is doing awesome.

“Did you see that match yesterday? The US totally blew that lead and almost lost it.” What sport? Doesn’t matter. You can say that to anyone in any elevator…and you’ll find someone to agree with you.

But for some reason, I’m still glued to the TV….trying to will the US team…in whatever sport I’m an arm-chair expert in…to a win.

Having a pediatrician for a wife, I hear some outstandingly bad names that parents inflict on their children. More often than not, they’ll be names that people “invent” for their kids in an attempt to be different. Kids are all different…they don’t need parents handicapping them out of the gate. It’s gotten so bad that pediatric residents are now taught to ask the parents for pronunciation tips before addressing the child. Something like “What a cool name…can you pronounce it for me?”

Some of these poor kids are going to have a pretty hard time in school. Below are some ACTUAL NAMES and the corresponding stories that go with them. You can’t make this stuff up.

Honorable Mention- Nevaeha

Nevaeh is Heaven spelled backwards, which has become quite popular in recent years. I would hazard a guess that the opposite of Heaven would be Hell, but that’s just me.

One particular lady couldn’t get that the “eh” was pronounced “ah” and decided to add an extra “a” at the end. This is effectively pronounced “Na-veh-ah-ha”.

Second Prize - R’Mani

Dr. : Hey there Kiddo…that’s a neat name. How do you say it?
Mom : Just like the suit man.
Dr. : Suit Man?
Mom : Armani.

Runner Up - Marconium

Nurse. : Have you picked out a name yet?
Mom : I think so.
Nurse: Can you spell it for me?
Mom (writing) : Marconium.
Nurse: How do you say that?
Mom (Saying it properly) : Meconium.
Nurse : Did you just hear that?
Mom : Yeah, I thought it was nice. I’ll call him Marco for short.
Nurse : Honey…let me tell you what meconium is…

Meconium: An infant’s first bowel movement.

Grand Prize Winner - Pron

Dr. : Good Morning Pron!
Mom (VERY Annoyed) : It’s pronounced “Ron”. The “P” is silent.

To all parents picking names for their children: Please run your name by a Nurse, and ask for their HONEST OPINION. Don’t be offended if they give it to you…it’s for the good of your child!

If you are a Canadian, and want to do your part, please click the link above and sign their petition.

I’ll also be posting this link on PutterTalk.com.

I know it’s been a year, because the last episode is still on my Tivo. I can’t bring myself to erase it. My wife rolls her eyes every time we’re ‘purging’ and she asks if she can delete it. It’s not that I’ve watched it since it originally aired. I haven’t.

Deleting that show will take it out of my mind…and I may forget about it. Seeing it wedged between South Park and Top Gear is a constant reminder of “what could have been” in network TV.

I know..I know. I could buy the DVDs and watch it whenever. But then it’d just sit there on my shelf next to all the other un-watched “must-have’ silver disks collecting dust in the back of my living room.

Aaron Sorkin’s first episode of Studio 60 had me yelling at my TV. “Yes!” I screamed as the rant given by Judd Hirsch just before the opening credits. Aaron Sorkin was back, and I forgot all about the gaping hole The West Wing left in my Wednesday nights.

The problem was, the fate of the world wasn’t ever at stake. I guess people couldn’t care less about if the show went on, or if the fictitious network got fined. The only two plot-lines that people cared about were whether or not Matt and Harriet got back together, or if Jordan and Danny’s baby was healthy.

Anyways…

One Year Later: I miss you Studio 60. You were a great show, and you’ve earned a permanent place on the Hard Drive of my Tivo.