Angie and I are expecting our second boy in late August. One of the joys of having a newborn is picking a name. This time around, we have to find something that doesn’t rhyme with Garrett, AND is agreeable with our last name. Hardman. (I still think ‘Curtis Avery Hardman’ would be brilliant!)
Having a pediatrician for a wife, I hear some outstandingly bad names that parents inflict on their children. More often than not, they’ll be names that people “invent” for their kids in an attempt to be different. Kids are all different…they don’t need parents handicapping them out of the gate. It’s gotten so bad that pediatric residents are now taught to ask the parents for pronunciation tips before addressing the child. Something like “What a cool name…can you pronounce it for me?”
Some of these poor kids are going to have a pretty hard time in school. Below are some ACTUAL NAMES and the corresponding stories that go with them. You can’t make this stuff up.
Honorable Mention- Nevaeha
Nevaeh is Heaven spelled backwards, which has become quite popular in recent years. I would hazard a guess that the opposite of Heaven would be Hell, but that’s just me.
One particular lady couldn’t get that the “eh” was pronounced “ah” and decided to add an extra “a” at the end. This is effectively pronounced “Na-veh-ah-ha”.
Second Prize - R’Mani
Dr. : Hey there Kiddo…that’s a neat name. How do you say it?
Mom : Just like the suit man.
Dr. : Suit Man?
Mom : Armani.
Runner Up - Marconium
Nurse. : Have you picked out a name yet?
Mom : I think so.
Nurse: Can you spell it for me?
Mom (writing) : Marconium.
Nurse: How do you say that?
Mom (Saying it properly) : Meconium.
Nurse : Did you just hear that?
Mom : Yeah, I thought it was nice. I’ll call him Marco for short.
Nurse : Honey…let me tell you what meconium is…
Grand Prize Winner - Pron
Dr. : Good Morning Pron!
Mom (VERY Annoyed) : It’s pronounced “Ron”. The “P” is silent.
To all parents picking names for their children: Please run your name by a Nurse, and ask for their HONEST OPINION. Don’t be offended if they give it to you…it’s for the good of your child!
